Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Detroit Rock Sex.

Iggy Pop and his insignificant Stooges fuck up inside and out everyother type of rock n roll your virgin ears have ever been chopped, screwed, and raped by.  The epitome of Detroit grunge and electric sex punk, TV Eye stands to be greatest rock song ever written and performed, matched possibly only by Television's epically magnificent Marquee Moon that Fox'll drool over in the next coming weeks.  Pop, inventor of all crazy fucked up stage show theatrics, drools over Eye's thrusting, violent guitar riff with the dirt down on the street of Detroit, 1970 - jibber of recklesness, jabber of ejaculation.

Something That Your Dad Don't Got

Why? - Alopecia

1. The Vowels, Pt. 2
2. Good Friday
3. These Few Presidents
4. The Hollows
5. Song of the Sad Assassin
6. Gnashville
7. Fatalist Palmistry
8. The Fall of Mr. Fifths
9. Brook & Waxing
10. A Sky for Shoeing Horses Under
11. Twenty Eight
12. Simeon’s Dilemma
13. By Torpedo or Crohn’s
14. Exegesis

This is music for you and your boys and your broken heart. Why? (Yoni Wolf & some other sick cats) write songs full of so many quotable lines, you swear this album could be the basis for an entire counter culture that you and your friends invent. Alopecia is a landmark of 2008 ALREADY, it makes me feel part of something bigger than indie rock, bigger than rap, its some other shit. Why? writes about anything really, putting money into a washing machine in some basement, cementing his ears shut with wet cocaine, and of course there is some romance. He is still after/against the girl with the "neck of a chinese bird", and is wondering if she is truly dope: a female young messiah from a dugout, or wack: having doubts about Yoni Wolf (Why?) and looking in the rear view and giving him a dirty look. Every track is solid and the end is existentially haunting, Yoni is obviously obsessed with the concept of existential crisis in young men, and he sleeps on his back because it is practice for the coffin. However, he still loves life at the end, and is feeling alive and fresh as ever on Alopecia.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Britney perfected what SebastiAn started into danceable glittery pop magic.
Piece of Me

The original thrashing abrasive invigorating electro however, is much sicker.
Walking Machine

A Bled Bangers Mix

I smuggled this mix out of some French pastry shop in the 1920's. A Man with an overcoat and a moustache revealed the three aces, and this was one of them. An unknown electro producer/dj, Coffee constructed one of the most alive mixes of 2007. The mix stays high, and the highlights are blinding. Coffee mashes up Electro Fidget and Untitled, throws in the required Chromeo vocals, rocks the shit out of Robot Rock and then leaves us chilling in a jacuzzi. The mix is electro candy coated freak out fun. Download this shit and bump it at your next rave, or just download it and bump it on your headphones, if you break some shit while listening please do not hold Faketattoos responsible, that would be impossible, we aren't responsible for anything.

A Bled Bangers Mix

I'm A Beetroots Man.

Easily the freshest, hardest hitting, sickest fucking disto-disco produced tracks of the year came from the Bloody Beetroots.  Hailing from Boredom, Italy they leave Justice trailing behind with their poppy French touch as they slathered butter week after week onto the hottest tracks, making themselves the most prolific and powerful remixers of the year.  

The sounds that tractor trailers make when they have head on collisions with each other in an underground Italian subway filled with electro-explosives from the future, the BBs show us that 2007 was their fucking harvest time.

Monday, January 28, 2008

OCDJ - Hooray!!

OCDJ - Hooray [2007]
01. My Friend Mayonnaise
02. Big Time Stuff
03. Smoke My Cheese
04. Baby Lobster, Baby Banana
05. Woopash
06. 7-5
07. Trip Trip
08. Fresh Socks, New Socks
09. The Milk's Gone Bad
10. Guess What!

Funny album. Sounds like rappers hanging out on a playground made of candy. Candy Electro Crunk. I saw OCDJ at some apartment in Brooklyn. He started spinning when i was in the room with literally two other people, we all started going nuts, not even knowing who the dude was, (i did, but i asked the other two after the show and they claimed to have been recently introduced to the Baltimore cat who rocks over sized animal masks and tours with Dan Deacon). OCDJ's music bounces along on synths that sound like that rainbow level in Mario Kart, multi-colored roads that are suspended over the stuttering beat. The Electro Crunk that OCDJ makes would be great 2 listen to on its own, but the tracks usually get crazier when he puts some samples over them. He samples popular rap songs usually, (although you have to check out Fresh Socks, New Socks for the Chef himself spitting over a beat that sounds oddly like a game of Bejewled), songs like Kelis's Milkshake, and the Whisper Song, kind of like Girl get the point.It sounds like a house party gone insanely bad, everyone becoming completly blitzed and some rappers just freaking out at everyone making them dance with such fervor that they lose themselves completly. I zipped up another OCDJ song that isn't on the album, PLS STP TH HSTL. That song really sounds like flashing rainbow lights. Complete Crunk Euphoria. Grab it Here,